Friendship.....

I have mentioned before how lucky I am to have the family and friends that I have. Throughout the last four years the people in my life have shown overwhelming understanding and support.  Through them here is what I have learned about friendship.....

1.  It's okay to be silent.

Friendship is not always 50-50.  Just like any relationship there will be times when one person in the relationship needs more support than the other.  Sometimes I feel overwhelmed with what is going on in life, but that doesn't mean that I am the only one who is overwhelmed.  It is always important to remember that no one's life is stress or drama free and there are times when everyone needs to vent.  So at times, as a friend, it is important to just be silent.  Let the other person get all of their frustrations out.

2.  No invite is not always an insult.

I have never been the life of the party; that doesn't mean I don't like to party.  So after I began suffering from Chronic Clusters and Migraines my feelings began to be hurt when I would hear about my friends' outings without me.  It wasn't that they were having fun without me; it was that I didn't even get an invite. It took me a while to see that most of those friends were not inviting me because they were trying to think of my feelings.  Making plans is a difficult thing when suffering from chronic pain and canceling plans is even harder.  So most of my friends tried to take the canceling out of the equation by just not inviting me.  

3.  Each friendship is important; even when they do not last.

I have made great friends and I have lost great friends.  Sometimes it is due to distance, difference of opinions or the relationship ran it's course.  But I can honestly say that I have learned a lesson in each friendship I have experienced.  Not all lessons have been pleasant, but I have always learned from them.

4.  Allow people to leave and return.

As I said before; friendship is not always 50-50; sometimes it turns out to be 100-0.  I have experienced this a lot since becoming chronically ill.  There have been times in these last 4 years that I have had to let a friend walk away when they did not know how to be what I needed.  I have had to walk away from friends when I couldn't meet their expectations.  I will admit that some of my friendships did not survive, but most did.  The natural reaction when you feel someone lets you down is to not trust them again.  But I have learned that I am no more perfect than the other person.  So I have learned to take a step back and understand that a situation does not define a whole person.  

5.  Honesty is the best policy.

I have learned to be honest with my friends.  If they hurt my feeling, I tell them.  Walking on eggshells with someone who is a friend will only get you dirty feet!  Those who truly love me and want the best for me will accept me for who I am; mistakes and all!

This post came after conversations with two people who mean the world to me.  So I would like to thank them for the idea and for the unconditional support they have always shown me!!!