So I had my appointment with the Neurosurgeon. I guess I set myself up for disappoint. Somehow I had it in my head that this doctor would have all of the answers. Guess what; he told me NOTHING new. I was so devastated that I started to cry in the appointment and then immediately following the appointment. I don't know why but I feel like I am following the yellow brick road, but mine is filled with potholes and deadends.
The up side of my trip was the time I got to spend with my dad!! He is the leveled head one- knew I was setting myself up for a world of hurt, but try and tell me that! I like how honest my dad is and how he allows me to be honest- even if he does not always like what I have to say.
I think through all of this what scares me most is the unknown. Will I ever be Beast free?! Will my life ever begin again? Who am I now? One of my biggest fears is that those I love and hold dear will not be around for me to get my life back together. I don't want to be this person for the rest of my life!!!
I have a follow-up appointment with my neurologist coming up to discuss the outcome of my trip to Jacksonville. Until then I will just try to breathe....
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