Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Fighting Fear

If someone was standing outside looking into my life they may think I have a pretty cushy existence. Amazing family, supportive friends and no responsibilities on a daily basis. That person would be wrong- my life is anything but cushy!!! I used to be independent, secure with who I was, didn't care what people thought of me!!! At times I could actually be somewhat obnoxious with my input (my husband may still feel this way at times). Now though I see myself very different. I have a hard time identifying my self worth. I struggle with worrying what others think and knowing whether I really have the right to an opinion on things now.
I know some may read this an believe that it is not a good idea for me to put this out there for all to see, but I am slowly trying to recapture who I am. I've worked my butt off to complete my education and it disgusts me when people judge me and believe that I would choose this life! I know somewhere in my being that I am still worth what I was when I was out making a name for myself, but it truly does beat one down when they are constantly being asked what they are doing to get better. Don't get me wrong; my family and true friends know the truth. Through my situation I am learning that many of those I called friends are not.
With that being said; should i have to live in fear of not being worth anything? Should a career define me? While I try to work these ideas out, I will just try to breathe.

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