When I think about my darkest hours I remember back to when I was a child and all of the monsters would come out calling when my house fell quiet. The nightmares that would wake me up back then now make me laugh when I think about them. But in the moment they were very real and I was always looking for someone to rescue me.
When my nightmares started occurring 24 hours a day in the form of debilitating pain, I wanted to return to the 5 year old me that could be soothed by my father's suggestion to think about all of the good things in life. When that didn't work I had to surrender myself to the fact that this nightmare would be bigger than I could manage on my own. So I sent out my signal for help and the same people who supported me as a child returned to rescue me and this time they brought some friends!!!!
My parents- They have schlepped me to hundreds of doctor appointments through out the state to find answers. They have helped me accept that where I am right now is not due to a lack of trying. They help me see the bigger picture and not get stuck in the stress of the moment. They take care of me like I was still the little girl woken in the middle of the night with nightmares.
My siblings- They have listened to my fears even when I call or text in the middle of the night. They make me smile by making fun of me. My sister sends me care packages of energy drinks and candy!!! My brother reminds me that if the doctor would have just VAPORIZED me like he suggested when we were kids, we could have avoided all of this.
My friends- They have continued to call and make plans with me despite the fact that I don't always respond and I cancel on a frequent basis. They also know not to say things like "oh, I get headaches also" or "don't you think you should see a doctor".
My current doctors- They have not given up yet!!!
My In-Laws/sister-in-law and extended family- They accept me for who I am right at this moment. They are so far away but try to help out as much as they can. And they love that I am a University of Michigan fan!
My Stepdaughter- She brings a carefree version of life into our house. She also brings entertainment and laughter.
and last but definitely not least......
My husband- He has become something I would never want anyone to be, my caretaker. He along with my parents drive me everywhere. He works two jobs to provide. He runs himself into the ground doing all of the things that I can no longer do. He deals with my HORRIBLE moods. Most of all he tries his best to understand.
Every single person who I have in my life is a piece of the jigsaw puzzle I am made of. If I lost a piece I would not be able to be as together as I currently am (insert laughter at that statement). I have not named everyone specifically because I am lucky; I am surrounded by so many people the list would be overwhelming. I try hard to make sure that those in my life know how special they are to me; hopefully all of you who are, know it.
Now I will take a moment, feel special, and just breathe.
June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
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