It is hard to describe chronic pain to a person who doesn't experience it. I know this because I used to be the person on the other side of the glass looking in. I could never have imagined that a person who did not look ill could be living through horrible pain on a constant basis. That someones smile may be masking the severe sadness/depression they were feeling by not living life. That a "I'm good" or "Hanging in" could be a way to say that nothing is improving- I still feel like crap!!!!
That is the truth of chronic pain illnesses such as migraines and headaches. In the last 4 years I have met so many people who do such a good job at pretending everything is okay and then in the times that they are alone suffer beyond belief. That is my reality on a daily basis. I am "faking it until I make it". The only thing that keeps me moving forward is HOPE.
Hope that there will be a solution and that my pain will decrease.
Hope that I can return to driving myself.
Hope to going back to work and being successful again.
Hope that I will make everyone proud of me again.
Hope that my parents will still be around to see me live life not just exist.
Hope that my relationship survives.
Hope that my daughter sees me as someone with goals and who she can count on.
Hope that I can begin to go out of the house and not feel anxiety over what I will do if I have an attack.
Hope that I can spend more time with friends.
Hope that we can stop spending so much on medical bills and prescriptions.
The hardest hand that migraines and headaches have dealt me is that I am stuck in a moment while the rest of the world is moving around me. The way I get through that is to have HOPE that one day I will join them again.
Until then I will just keep breathing....
June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.
Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat. Do that enough times and it will get you where you need to be <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Ellen!!!! That is such the truth. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and comment.
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