Migraine & Headache Awareness Month #30- 2001: A Space Odyssey

2001: A Space Odyssey: "I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do."

Write a letter to a fictional Headache Disorders patient encouraging that person to be kind to him or herself.  Use the ways you're too hard on yourself as an inspiration.

Dear ------,

I am so sorry that you have finally come up against a Beast like no other.  I know that throughout your life you have probably conquered so many forms of pain that you never imagined that anything could stop you.  I am asking that you just take a moment and breathe.  Clear your head and prepare yourself for the fight of your life.  There are going to be days where you may not believe that you can get through it or that you may not want to; I am here to tell you that you are stronger than you think. 

The first thing you need to do is take an inventory of those who are in your life.  Understand that many will walk out on you when you need them the most; not because they don't care, but because they do.  It is hard to see someone you care about suffer.  Understand that forgiveness will be needed through this process.  In the end, many of the people who left you will come back.  Let them in and take the love and support that they can give. 
The family and friends who stand by you need patience.  You need to cherish those relationships even when you are at your worst.  There are going to be times when you are angry at the world.  Please be careful not to take this out on them.  Don't take them for granted.  Know that when you hurt they hurt.  And have faith that they still see you as the amazing person you once were; they probably see it better than you do. 

Second, be patient with yourself.  I have an eight year old daughter who gets frustrated when things get to hard.  Many times she wants to walk away if she can't do it right the first time.  This tends to scare me; no one should ever give up.  But then I stop and think about myself.  There have been days when I have not given myself the patience to try again.  Learning to live with chronic pain is a daily battle; one that you will not conquer your first time out.  So don't give up.  When you see others in pain who are still working, having children or driving; don't get mad with yourself.  Take a moment and remember that in this moment you are doing the best that you can.  Maybe one day you will be able to do more; but until that day comes accept where you are at.

Third, remember how wonderful you are.  Chronic Migraines and Chronic Clusters are going to take your self esteem, your independence and attack your self worth at one point or another.  The medications you take will make you tired, forgetful and have you gaining weight.  The surgeries you try will sometimes make things worse.  It is at this point that you have to do what it takes to remember who you are.  Migraines and Headache Disorders will start to become who you are.  Fight this.  Be more than your disability.  You may never be able to work again, don't let that stop you from hoping.  Don't ever give up on fighting for the person you are and the person you want to be.  Maybe you won't ever get there, but if you stop fighting you know getting there is not even an option.  Leave yourself open for options. 

And lastly, don't live by the judgements of others.  I have tried to hide my pain because showing it is scary to myself and others.  I have attempted to live the life that others think a disabled person should live.  I have beat myself up because people do not understand.  STOP DOING THIS!!!!!  The only people who truly know what you are going through is you and other sufferers.  I am lucky to have a family who loves me and tries harder than I think I could to understand and support me.  But at the end of the day, even they can't know it all.  Be okay with that.  Don't ever wish for someone to understand what you are going through.  To wish that would be to wish this pain on them.  Be happy that others support you and those who don't, let them live there life. 

It kills me to know that you understand my pain.  I wish you didn't.  But since you do, we are now family.  We will conquer The Beast together.

Love
Casey

June 2013, Migraine and Headache Awareness Month, is dedicated to Unmasking the Mystery of Chronic Headache Disorders. The 2013 Migraine and Headache Awareness Month Blog Challenge is a project of FightingHeadacheDisorders.com.